The Pros and Cons of Divorce
Posted on | September 16, 2010 | No Comments
If you are struggling in your marriage, unable to effectively communicate about or agree on anything, and you see little chance of turning the situation around, you may have considered filing for divorce. You may recognize that divorce can solve some of your problems while giving rise to others. This article identifies some of the reasons you might want to consider seeking a divorce, but also identifies the consequences of marital dissolution.
What You Have to Gain through Divorce
- If there is a lot of anger, verbal abuse or physical abuse in your marriage, a divorce can reduce the risk of that happening, and increase your safety.
- Many people in unhappy marriages stay together because they believe it’s in the best interests of their children. Studies show, however, that children can adapt to divorce and often can benefit by not being exposed to the bickering and fighting prevalent in a bad marriage. One study concluded that 80% of children of divorce emerge as emotionally healthy adults. Children learn from their environment. If they are always around conflict, they often learn that conflict is an essential element of any relationship.
- Financially, you may benefit from divorce. If your ex-spouse was irresponsible with money or unwilling to contribute to the financial well-being of the family, a divorce can remove that burden and allow you to regain your financial footing.
The Potential Downside of Divorce
- If there are children involved, divorce can lead to emotional challenges. If you don’t clearly explain to the children that they are not to blame, they may try to take responsibility for the divorce. Additionally, a divorce can often place children in the middle of parents who don’t agree. The children may feel like they have to take sides, or that they have to become a different person when they are with each parent.
- Divorce can be financially devastating, whether you are the custodial or the non-custodial parent. You may have built a lifestyle based on two incomes, with a home, car and extracurricular activities at that level. With only one income, you may not be able to maintain the lifestyle you had. As a custodial parent, you may not be able to get enough in child support to keep your home or other items. As the non-custodial parent, the requirement to pay child support can make it difficult to acquire your own living space and build a separate life.
- Divorce can be emotionally devastating. Sometimes referred to as the “living death,” it can make you feel like a failure, feel undesirable or unloved, and put you in a position where you are constantly reminded of former, perhaps happier, times. When you or your ex-spouse remarry and your children start to develop relationships with stepparents, the emotional challenges can be wrenching for everyone involved.
- When children are involved, divorce can be very hard work. Even when you have a court order identifying custody, visitation and support, every situation is different. Your child’s needs and wants will change as they grow. You will often have to either negotiate exceptions to prior agreements or be perceived as inflexible, more interested in your needs than the child’s needs.
Experienced Pasadena Family Law and Divorce Lawyer
We have extensive experience with all aspects of family-law and divorce, including the following:
- Child Custody Disputes
- Division of Property Issues
- Child Support Matters
- Child Support Enforcement
- Domestic Violence and Restraining Orders
- Paternity Suits and Parentage Issues
- Retirement and QDRO Matters
- Post Divorce Modification Requests
- Move Aways and Relocation Requests
- Divorce Mediation
Divorce can be complex, and the decisions you make today will impact your future. Before making those decisions, you should obtain accurate information and sound advice from an attorney with extensive experience in divorce and family-law matters.
Contact an Experienced Pasadena Family Law and Divorce Attorney
For additional information about California divorce and family law, or to discuss your particular situation with an experienced Pasadena family law attorney, schedule a free initial phone consultation to see if we can help. Call (626) 304-7062, or, if you prefer, fill out our intake form and we will contact you to schedule a confidential consultation.
Remember…we can’t help you if you don’t call. You owe it to yourself to call us today.
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